MAID

A few days ago, I was invited to dinner by a friend who resides in the state of New Jersey. It was a small gathering but one that included a middle aged woman whose mother had died the week before. The mother had requested and been granted MAID. MAID stands for Medical Assistance in Dying and is the result of legislation adopted in the state of New Jersey a few years ago. I was seated next to the woman who told me all about her mother’s decision to take her dying into her own hands. The mother was in her early 80s and was terminally ill. She gathered her three adult children around her and announced that she was looking into MAID. The family had expected her to look into hospice, but she ruled that out telling them that she wanted to be in control of her own dying. The family is Christian. After initial hesitation on the part of her children, they agreed to support her. She followed all the legal requirements and they were with her when she self-administered the lethal dosage. Now I was being asked what I thought about it and if mother was in heaven. It was not the type of dinner conversation that I had expected!

I tried to be gentle but I also tried to be honest. It is important to know that there is objective truth. Our society is swimming in the subjective. Whatever feels good is ok. And that is a lie. Thinking of that kind ultimately leads us to do whatever we want. Result is moral chaos. It is necessary to begin with the umbrella commandment: Thou shalt not kill. Deliberately taking one’s own life is murder. God is the Author of life. God gives life and only God has the right to take it away. MAID and all kinds of death with dignity laws are an aberration. Even though they seek the good of the individual, they are wrong. MAID is murder – the deliberate taking of one’s own life – suicide. Having stated the objective truth, then one has to look at the subjective. Life is lived in the here and now and it is complicated. We need to state objective truth but then we have to look into the circumstances of a person’s life. And as we know, life is filled with various shades of grey. Mother’s life was filled with grey and led her to the erroneous conclusion that she would seek MAID. She wanted to be in control of her own dying. Sounds good, but where is God in all of this? Only God can judge a person’s life. I cannot judge nor can anyone else. I assured the daughter that God is merciful and compassionate, and that she needs to be at peace re her mother.

MAID and similar legislation exists in many American states and in many areas of our world. These movements seek to be recognized as simply normal options in life. They are wrong. We need to invest in other options, e.g., quality hospice care; pain management; an acceptance of the natural flow of life from conception to natural death. We need to see the Hand of God in declining years. We need to seek God’s will rather than our own control over death. Difficult – yes, but it is the way to go. God is with us on our journey.